Why Embracing Who You Really Are Elevates Your Vibration and Transforms Your Life More Than Love.

Introduction

Have you ever noticed that certain emotional states make you feel exuberant and light, while others make you feel heavy and burdened? This effect isn’t a coincidence. Each human emotion – and the resultant physical states they evoke – carries a charge. This charge influences our overall energetic frequency, or vibration. This vibration influences how we respond and it touches everything in our external environment.

While love is often presented as the highest vibration possible, Spirit showed me recently in journey that authenticity actually carries an even higher vibration and influences our vibrational profile more potently than love. 

In this article, I’ll explain why authenticity should be our desired state and the ultimate goal of our soul work. As part of that, I’ll discuss emotional states and their vibration, how to work with emotions in a state of self-awareness, and how all of this ultimately leads to profound transformation and a life lived with a foundation of empowerment and sovereignty.

Understanding Vibrational Frequencies

We are energetic beings. Within our bodies, our primary form of energy production is through cellular respiration, where nutrients, primarily glucose, are converted into adenosine triphosphate (ATP). This process occurs within the mitochondria of each cell. Of all the organs in the body, the one that produces the most energy is muscle tissue – including the heart – to fuel the function of contraction/relaxation, so much so that an electromagnetic field is generated around the heart and can be detected approximately a meter (3 feet) out from the human form. (This field is actually far greater than the field that is generated by the brain, which actually produces very little ATP on its own, instead consuming up to 20% of ATP produced elsewhere in the body in order to maintain cellular activity and neurotransmitter balance.)

Although the brain does not produce much energy in the form of ATP, it, along with the overall nervous system (including peripheral nerves), generates electromagnetic signals. These signals are produced when ions (charged particles) move across neuronal membranes, and these signals directly impact our ability to respond quickly to our environment, whether that is through activation of our sympathetic (fight or flight) or parasympathetic (rest and digest) nervous systems. So, while this field is not measurable or detectable to same degree that the field emanating from the heart is, it still demonstrates that we are being designed to produce and respond to electromagnetic energy.

Electromagnetic fields – such as the one generated by the heart – create waves and these waves have vibrations and frequency. The vibration is simply the back and forth movement – oscillation – of the wave of energy. Frequency refers to the number of oscillations (vibrations) per a given unit of time, and is directly correlated to the amount of energy each photon contains. Thus when we refer to high and low “vibrations,” what we are often actually referring to is the frequency of the electromagnetic wave produced.

Are Some Emotions Better Than Others?

We often refer to high vibrational emotions (better termed “high frequency emotions”) – such as love and joy – and low – namely fear, and anger. While it’s likely possibly to correlate these ideas to specific biochemical processes in the body (a rabbit hole I started down), for the sake of brevity, let’s table the scientific explanation for a later time. 

In short, let’s just say that high vibrational emotions, being that they are correspondingly higher in energy, have effects on our energetic field that are expansive and opening and give us the feeling of lightness or – “high.” These emotions foster a sense of connectedness to other people, animals, nature, etc. In these emotional states, we have a tendency to be more giving, and – because of our expanded energetic field – better able to discern what’s happening in others near us, emotionally and motivationally. We term this empathy.

So called “low vibratory emotions” – i.e. lower energy – cause our energetic fields to contract, resulting in a heavy feeling. Rather than viewing these emotions as so-called “negative,” let’s give credit where credit is due. It’s actually by design that these emotional states – anger, fear, sadness, disgust – constrict our energetic fields. This constriction is intended to alert us that we need to turn our focus inward to explore the underlying cause of the emotion. 

Thus it’s important to feel all the emotions that arise within us, working with them constructively and without judgement. Nothing bad is going to happen to us, karmically or otherwise (no – you’re not going to miss out on the awakening into 5D!), when we feel “negative” emotions such as anger, fear, or sadness. On the contrary, not allowing ourselves to feel or acknowledge their presence suppresses them, forcing them into containment within our energetic fields. These containment systems require a great deal of energetic input, reducing the overall energy we have available to create, to inspire, to give – to love. Over time, the energy diverted into containment can leave us feeling depressed, anxious, and uninspired. With enough time – because the energy requirements to keep the containment system in place becomes too great to maintain – the containment systems begin to crack, releasing a torrent of unprocessed emotions that can wreck destruction in ourselves, our environment, and in those we love.

Thus, if we stop viewing emotions as “positive” and “negative” and instead focus on their intended purpose – as messengers – and if we work with those energies – constructively – then we can move through life with more ease, more energy, and clearer purpose. (Strategies for working with emotions constructively will be covered in a future post.)

What Is Authenticity?

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, being “Authentic” is defined as:

• not false or imitation : REAL, ACTUAL
• true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character
• worthy of acceptance or belief

Thus authenticity is the state of being authentic, i.e. real, true to one’s self, and accepting that self as worthy and valuable, knots and all.

In order to achieve this state of being, we must possess, through a process of development and practice, these traits:

• Self Awareness: We must be willing to look at – to see ourselves and feel our emotions. This requires actually being in the body (not dissociated) and in the present moment. That might sound overly simplistic, but in our fast-paced society filled with distractions, it can be quite difficult to achieve without practice.
• Courage: Because we’re not composed of butterflies and rainbows, we need courage to see the parts of us that aren’t so pretty, i.e. the shadowy aspects of our psyches that develop through wounding. This requires that we develop a positive relationship to – or in the very least – a willingness to sit in – discomfort. 
• Curiosity and Compassion: We are a multitude of traits, emotions, patterns, and beliefs. In short, we’re complicated (and if we weren’t, life would be exceedingly dull!) As we discussed with emotions above, if we get caught up in defining some aspects of ourselves as “positive” and others “negative” – i.e. if we start employing judgement instead of curiosity and compassion – we make some things more difficult to see and work with, while rendering other things completely invisible to our consciousness. This is because our ego/body consciousness is highly creative and it responds quickly to any threat to our survival, even if that threat is mental in nature only (i.e perception). 
• Transparency/Vulnerability: Only once the previous three traits are developed – through practice – can we feel safe enough to really see ourselves – and risk being seen by others. This step is difficult because we all hold an inherent fear of public shame and ridicule. At a deep level, humans are tribal. We are programmed to exist within some type of social structure, and if we face ostracization – if we are removed from our social support group through judgement, shame, or embarrassment – then our survival feels threatened. This fear is deeply embedded within our psyches and, because the ego is quite clever when it comes to ensuring our survival, it will craft stories and create blinders to prevent us from acting, or sharing, in ways that might cause us shame or embarrassment. Thus the development of transparent vulnerability can be a long process, one that requires all of the self-awareness, courage, curiosity, and compassion one has developed in the first three steps. Once we’re able to be completely transparent and vulnerable, we are finally ready to work with our stories and narratives. It is here – in the release of limiting beliefs and conditioned patterns – that we are finally able to redraft new positive stories.

Authenticity is more than a personality trait. It’s developed through practice. When we cultivate the ability to be completely authentic, we move through the world with integrity. This vulnerable sharing of our truth makes authenticity an extremely high-frequency energy, because there are no hidden agendas and no masks; just pure truth.

The Essence of Love

When we consider the emotion of love, we often see it as the height of the human experience. After all, “love conquers all.” We crave love and acceptance because it ensures that we have an ally in this human game of survival that we call life. More than that, love helps us build our relationships into ones founded on empathy, compassion, and a desire for growth and betterment.

There are many types of love because we form many different types of relationships. Some of the most powerful forms are:

• Self love: Respect and care for the self. Long viewed as “selfish,” now we realize that we must love ourselves in order to show up in our fullest, most compassionate potential.
• Romantic/friendly love: Emotional connection with a partner or peer. This type of connection is often the stage for much of our inner work and reveals some of our deepest shadows. For instance, it is a known pattern that we often form romantic relationships with people that archetypally resemble (in temperament or personality) one of our parents (usually the one we have unresolved patterns with). In many ways, this type of relationship is the most challenging (perhaps behind self love in some instances) but it also has the most potential for deepening our healing work. It offers perspectives from a peer and an equitable stage on which to work through wounds and to practice vulnerability. These qualities have the potential to help us see our patterns more deeply and/or from a different perspective. Romantic love, because of shared commitments (which often includes children and basic survival) and physical act of love making, can make the bond potent and strong, but can also result in entanglement, in which we have trouble discerning our energies and beliefs apart from our partner. In all cases, consciously deepening in both our relationship to self and other yields potent healing potential.
• Parental love: Deeply powerful and motivating, especially the love a parent has for a child. While this love is often quite strong on both sides, it is the least “equitable” love in that parent often feels strongly protective of the child, and perhaps less willing to be transparent in shortcomings, and the child feels the evolutionary impulse to change/do differently what the parent has modeled as they grow into independence. Particularly for parents, this relationship offers incredible motivation and inspiration for deep healing, as we wish to do right/better for our children. Children offer us one of the clearest mirrors into our behaviors, and can be great teachers to us.
• Universal love: a general sense of love for all life, marked by feelings of compassion and empathy. This love is less “messy” but also does not offer the same potential for deeper healing work. However, it’s an excellent place to for respite and inspiration when other relationships feel too challenging or overwhelming. 

Obviously, this is a small sampling of the forms love can take. Additionally, the resulting relationships between self and other (because relationships are an alchemy of both participants’ personalities, temperaments, wounds, and more) are as varied and unique as the individuals participating in them. All relationships offer the impetus and opportunity to dive deeper into learning unconditional love, however, not everyone can master their wounds and shadows enough to yield to this impulse.

Why Authenticity Is a Higher Vibration

While love is powerful, authenticity holds a higher vibration. This is for several reasons:

• Authenticity is Foundational. Within authenticity, we see ourselves and allow others to see us clearly. Without it, love can feel illusory, hollow, and/or conditional.
• Authenticity is Empowering. Living true to ourselves empowers us to speak, act, and love more honestly and vulnerably. It creates congruency between the head and the heart, and alignment within our bioenergetic system.
• Authenticity is Freeing. When we aren’t bound by or subconsciously motivated by expectations (originating within ourselves or pushed onto us by society or partners), we create space for change and growth. 

Authenticity amplifies the frequency of love, by rooting or grounding it in truth and reality. 

The Relationship Between Authenticity and Love

Authenticity and unconditional love are deeply intertwined. When we carry the energy of authenticity, our relationships and love are rooted in truth. Because authenticity displaces illusions and superficiality, it allows us to see, even circumvent, co-dependent, manipulative, conditional love in our relationships. Authenticity is the medicine that helps us identify and express our true needs and desires. Every relationship is a choice to take in and on the energy, wounds, and needs of another (this is not to say we’re responsible for those things, but we agree to be in relationship with them). With authenticity, we see the constituents of that choice clearly and this enables us to move through love more unconditionally and with fewer feelings of blame, shame, and resentment.

When we cultivate authenticity in ourselves, we can bring our whole selves into our relationships. This fosters trust and deeper connections to those we care about and love. In turn, they are more free to be their authentic selves. This synergy allows love to grow and evolve, making authenticity a powerful catalyst for deeper intimacy and true love.

Authenticity as a Gateway to Higher Vibrations

Living authentically means we’ve come to some sort of acceptance with ourselves. It uncouples our sense of who we are and our inherent worth from our wounded stories, allowing us to work within those narratives to create lasting change. The more we unwind these narratives, and break the containment of repressed emotions, the more energy we free up. This energy can now be used to fuel creativity and expansion into higher states of awareness.

Mindful Presence: A willingness to live authentically starts with mindful presence. We feel our emotions and stay conscious of our thoughts as they arise, tracking the energy back to past experiences or narratives to find their origin. From here we are free to sort and sift through what is ours, release what isn’t ours, and then examine what is expansive or contractive in nature. From there, we have the option to recraft a narrative that serves us rather than limits and holds us back. This process also awakens us to the existence of personal truth, based on perspective, as opposed to universal truth. We can hold our personal truth with sovereignty and empowerment, rather than feeling threatened by it. This allows us to avoid dogmatic beliefs and we release the need to be “right” in another’s eyes. This creates space for everyone to find, and live, their personal truths. In claiming our personal truth, we feel the need to defend or prove ourselves less (or not at all), rechanneling the energy previously used for defenses into fuel for growth and creativity.

Purpose: Knowing our truth enables us to know – and live – according to our purpose. When we are able to clearly see and accept our needs and desires, as well as our strengths and limitations, this shapes our purpose – our path – so that we are in alignment with all. This fosters movement with the tide of life, rather than fighting the current. When we stop fighting the inevitable challenges that life brings us, when we have faith in ourselves to accept whatever change life might ask from us, when we see more clearly our strengths and our limitations and learn to leverage them accordingly, then we move in response rather than reaction. 

Connections: Authenticity fosters deeper, more aligned and fulfilling relationships with others. When all the “facts are on the table,” each party can make clearer, more empowered choices to commit or move on. This is important because misalignment in our relationships can be a tremendous drain on us, mentally, emotionally, and energetically. Conversely, relationships that are rooted in truth and aligned in motivation become a potent energetic resource that fuels and nourishes both parties.

Thus, living authentically aligns us with universal energies, opening the door to more lasting and profound experiences with joy, peace, and enlightenment. Our energy is elevated and radiates to everyone around us.

My Personal Story with Authenticity

Not quite a year and a half ago, I started my practice being authentic. 

Now, I know how that sounds. It’s not as if I ever set out to be inauthentic. What I was, in actuality, was highly guarded. More than one energy worker had picked up on pronounced shielding in my energetic field. Where this shielding derived from is varied and complex, but in short it started with wounded patterns and limiting beliefs that prevented me from feeling I could be completely vulnerable and truthful in expressing my emotions, wants, and needs with the people around me.

About six months prior to this, a relationship with a man had developed. I kept picking up on conflicting energies on his part, a pronounced push-pull, that left me feeling deeply confused and vulnerable. I knew I had two choices; I could drop the relationship and seek safe ground, escaping the feeling of vulnerability. Or – I could lean in, embrace being vulnerable, and learn something about myself. 

This tendency to escape from anything resembling vulnerability was a deeply entrenched pattern for me; that much I knew. I could trace the pattern back through a multitude of experiences and as far back as I can remember. I had already begun my work with plant teachers and decided this was one I wanted Grandmother’s assistance with. (To be clear, working with plant medicines is a deeply personal choice and not recommended for everyone.) I went into ceremony with my intention set – “a willingness to be vulnerable.”

And – wow – what a ceremony. Ceremonial experiences can be incredibly varied. This particular ceremony was mostly somatic, at one point feeling as if I was being physically turned inside out. (It took me months to realize that bringing the inside out is, by definition, vulnerability, and thus was a direct manifestation of my intention.) It also manifested in a strong desire to sing along to any and all icaros and songs performed in the ceremony. This desire was deeply conflicting for me as I have always made it a point to avoid performing in any way in the presence of others, despite my profound love of singing. This weekend was also the first time that I willingly sat in an integration circle and shared my story. As I shared, I started crying, another thing I have always avoided doing in public. 

And while all of that is profound in and of itself, it really only opened the door to my vulnerability. Every ceremony after that has involved some element that required a deepening acceptance of my willingness to be vulnerable. Boy, do I have stories to tell! Experiences that would have once been mortifyingly embarrassing to me, I now find incredibly funny. People have seen me at, what I would have previously called – my “worst.” I’ve bawled and purged without shame in front of others, making a few messes that I couldn’t clean up on my own. I’ve sung in the group a few times solo, with body shaking, completely off-key and forgetting the words. I’ve danced. I’ve raged. I’ve laughed. And in one ceremony, I blacked out, having to ask others the next day what happened. (Never had I ever!) I’ve come completely unraveled and had to allow others to help right what they didn’t break. And – probably the hardest of all the experiences! – I’ve also had to sit, more than once, in the center of the group while they “celebrated” me. The first time, I literally cried the entire time. The second, I couldn’t stop laughing with joy. 

All of these very vulnerable experiences happened within a loving container of others also embracing their vulnerability. More than once, someone has told me that – what I would call my “mess” – was inspiring to them. And now, these people feel like my tribe and my family, where I am completely free, safe, and accepted. A gift that I couldn’t even comprehend when I started this journey.

My willingness to be vulnerable, and the positive experience of being accepted in that state, has led me to find my true, authentic self. I no longer feel I need to avoid challenging emotions or conversations. I’m willing to look – with curiosity – at how my shadow and ego come into play. I give significantly less thought or care to what other people are quietly thinking or feeling about me. I’m willing to be silly, look stupid, act weird, and not know an answer. I’m more willing to express what I want and need, and to ask for help or clarity. This hasn’t all come without a lot of leaning in and practice. Some days it’s hard. Others I don’t even think about it – it just happens. 

My spiritual journey has deepened and I see now a lot of things I didn’t before. I have a better idea of what I want and need, what I’m willing to accept, and what I’m not. I’m responding more and reacting less, and in turn, this allows me to see more and journey deeper.

And my relationships have blossomed. Well – most of them. The guy that the story started with? He’s long gone. I confided in a friend, in complete vulnerability, the entire story – something I would have never done before. But, I was desperate to understand what was happening and what I was missing. She looked at me and said, “Lose him. I mean it. Don’t ever talk to him again. He’s manipulating and using you.” Because she was willing to be real and authentic with me, and because I was willing to look at the implications of what she said without fear and judgment – as well at all the things about me that had allowed it to happen for such an extended amount of time – I had a shift into complete clarity. From there, I stepped into my power. As soon as I put boundaries up, the relationship imploded. His parting message to me confessed that he had used me. (Guess my friend had it right…)

Something similar has happened in a few other relationships, none quite so dramatic or long-standing, thankfully. These relationships had started more recently, after that fated August night when the medicine brought the courage to be vulnerable to my door. With these people, I had always been as authentic – as transparent and truthful, clear and direct – as possible. So that later, when their actions showed a lack of alignment with values I hold dear in relationships, it was clear to see. Because I had vulnerably shared by story with them, there was no maneuvering and no excuses, such as “I didn’t know you felt that way.” They knew and they made a choice. The misalignment between our values was clear, as was the decision to move away.

Aside from those few relationships, however, all others have blossomed. The new connections I’m forming are more genuine and the people are more aligned with my values. My longstanding friendships feel deeper, clearer, and I have more fun when I’m with them. With my children, I see this same deepening, and it feels as if each of my children has settled with more comfort into who they are. With others that I’m close to, I feel I can see more clearly the dynamics of our relationship, and with that, respond in ways that more aligned for me and compassionate towards them. Because I can see myself more clearly, and love the mess and challenge that I am, I am able to appreciate that dynamic – and the challenge it can be – in others. This allows me to hold better space for them. There’s no right, no wrong, just a path and journey of healing that might bring us together – temporarily or longer term – or move us away from each other.

Practical Ways to Cultivate Authenticity

Remember, authenticity starts with self-awareness, curiosity and non-judgement, courage, and vulnerability. It’s a practice that develops over time. It starts with knowing yourself and accepting all the various aspects you embody with tenderness.

• Self-Reflection: Spend time understanding what makes you tick, what lights you up, and what creates tension and constriction. Ponder all of this without judgement. The ego can be obsessed with labels around good/bad, right/wrong; ask the ego to sit to the side and observe, but refrain from commenting. What we really need to know is, does it nourish you, light you up, or help you grow? If not, what’s keeping you tethered to it?
• Set Boundaries: Protect your energy by saying no to what doesn’t align with you. Remember that boundaries and the sharing of your truth can have whatever energy is needed and appropriate to back them up. With vulnerability, we don’t have to deliver these with the intensity of an electric shock, but we can if or when the other person refuses to respect who we are and what we need. Thus vulnerability helps us not only accept our inner power, but also harness it in ways more appropriately to the given situation and person.
• Embrace Vulnerability: Share your truth, even when it feels uncomfortable (and it will at times.) Now, it must also be said that this does not in anyway signify that every one is entitled to your story! Not everyone has healed enough, or developed the appropriate levels of emotional maturity, to hold our stories with the compassion, love, and integrity they deserve. We can – and should – still practice discernment in what we share, and with whom. The difference when we’ve embraced authenticity, however, is that we can decline to answer without resorting to defensive or evasive posturing. Authenticity allows us the ability to clearly see when it’s appropriate to share, and offers a simple choice: we can share our vulnerable truths, when it feels appropriate, or we can decline. No longer do we make this choice from unfounded fears or past narratives. We make it standing within our power and aligned to our truth. 

Conclusion

Authenticity and love are both incredibly transformative forces, but authenticity offers a more powerful, unique opportunity to deepen in our healing and expand our consciousness. By aligning inner truth with outer actions, authenticity creates a solid foundation, an underpinning that allows more pure versions of love to come through and more frequent and enduring experiences with other high-vibration emotions such as joy, hope, and peace. Living authenticity increases the amount of energy we have available to us; to create, to heal, and to expand our consciousness. It empowers us to live freely, connect more deeply, and vibrate higher. It’s the jet-fuel that will propel us into our awakening and evolution.

Want To Go Deeper?

• “Vibrations of Authenticity: A Workbook for Cultivating True Self and Higher Energy,” is a workbook is designed to guide you through a deeper understanding of yourself and your vibrational influences, encouraging a life of authenticity and higher frequency. Available to purchase and download on my website @ http://rowan-wellness.com. (Coming soon!)
• Book an appointment with me: https://rowan-wellness.com/services-scheduling/
• For first access to new posts, check out my Substack page: https://substack.com/@sheilarumblequantumhealing