One of the topics that is perhaps the most misunderstood in the realm of energy work is the idea of energetic cords.

As energetic beings, we form many connections to other people, animals, and places. We form connections to events in our lives, most particularly trauma. We are connected to our ancestors and the lives they lived. We even form connections to beliefs, thought forms, shadow archetypes, past lives, and our future (in the form of fate (an attachment to how we perceive our life should be, as opposed to destiny, which is personal ownership combined with trust in a divine plan). We might even connect to global catastrophes, even when we are not directly involved in them.

One way to consider this cognitively is to visualize, using our sacred imaginations, these connections as cords that come from our bodies and connect into all these various things. As you can imagine, it begins to look like this:

Not only does this deplete our energetic circuitry, which manifests in the physical body as extreme fatigue, but it also impacts us emotionally and mentally. We may have emotions that make no sense to us, we may feel emotions that are larger and more intense than seems justified, or conversely, healthy emotions (such as love and joy) feel absent, flat, or transient. Mentally we may feel confused, unable to focus, or we may develop thought patterns that seem irrational. This type of congested, overwhelming cording can also make us rigid in our beliefs and actions, perhaps to the point of being unable to own up to our actions or consider other points of view. And of course, all of this can begin to overlap; someone’s view point, that we are unable to consider, makes us irrationally angry, so we lash out through no fault of our own, but because the other person “asked for it.” Our behaviors and actions begin to reflect that invisible but very real tangle of energetic cords that has us bound up tight in a bundle of knots.

Let’s look at cording on an individual scale. When we’re connected – or attached – in this way, we’re easily manipulated. Imagine an island in an ocean. The island is you, the ocean is your energetic field. Your island, though reasonably self-sufficient, does best, however, with two roads in and off the island. This keeps things “fresh.” These roads bring in new ideas and ways of doing things, and provide a means to export what is no longer needed on the island. These roads are a means of connection, and trade, with the larger world. These roads, important as they are, are well monitored and maintained. No one is allowed on the island without your permission, no goods can leave without your consent. (In energetic terms, these roads in and out are the grounding cord deep into Earth energy, and the cosmic cord with connects us to Divine Truth. We’ll talk about how to set (clear) these cords later.)

Now imagine that your very beautiful and abundant island is drawing a lot of attention. Your island is so vibrant, and bright, and alive; it has beautiful music, and energy. Its so abundant that someone says, “You know, I just want to take one of those plants that produces those beautiful flowers. So they craft a road over to your island that bypasses the two main thoroughfares, and they sneak on and take a flower. It’s not much and they think you’ll never miss it. But it dies because their island doesn’t know how to nourish it, so they sneak back on, and they take another one, and it too dies. Before long, you’re wondering where all your beautiful flowers have gone. And they’re traveling back and forth, back and forth, and they have also taken your shovel, and hoe, and your watering can, because they have thought, “Maybe the secret in keeping the flower alive is in [this] or [that].” And while you’re looking for your flowers, you notice that there are many other roads in and out too, that you never approved. People have been coming and going constantly, taking a little of this, a little of that, never intending to leave you desolate, but they fail to leave anything in return. At least anything that you need. And not only do you have roads in and out, but also electrical lines, and internet cables, gas lines and water pipes; so many precious resources leaving, all without your consent. Things coming in, also not with your consent, and not born of your need, but the needs of others, whether because they just want to feel that they’re compensating (or helping) you or because they need somewhere to unload a burden; or perhaps, it’s more insidious. At any rate, there’s a lot happening on your island, an island that was intended to be a sovereign sanctuary, but which has now become something of an unintentional thoroughfare of people, ideas, and more traipsing in and out, taking and leaving behind. To be clear, much of this is completely unintentional and not malicious in intent, but even so, it’s chaotic and inefficient, draining and unsustainable for your little island paradise.

Your energetic system is the island. You have people, animals, places, beliefs, ancestors, trauma, expectations, and more plugged into your energetic system. They siphon off your energy. They leave behind, most often, things which are not beneficial. In order to thrive as a physical human being, you must get control of your energetic system. And to do that, you must be energetically hygienic. You must cut these cords.

Going back to the island analogy, you must close the roads coming onto your island, ALL of them, except for the two roads that are monitored. In human terms, this is where people often get upset, because in the human mind, we’ve become confused and conflicted about the idea of boundaries. Boundaries are the rules by which you govern your energetic system. Your energetic system directly feeds your nervous system, which of course influences the entirety of your physical body. As a society, however, we’ve somehow corrupted the idea of boundaries. We like to call someone with weak, thin boundaries giving. When we ask someone with thin, weak boundaries for something, we’re pretty sure they’ll give it to us, or help us out. And someone with overextended boundaries we often call assertive and confident (also sometimes referred to as “takers”). Someone with overextended boundaries; well, we don’t ask for anything from them, because we know the answer will likely be no. These are two parts of the co-dependency coin, and this is how a good portion of the world operates. Very rarely, do we celebrate the person that adequately supports their boundaries, that doesn’t take part in co-dependent exchanges of givers vs. takers, in part because as humans, we dislike uncertainty. They don’t fall into our subconscious designation of taker or giver, and we just don’t know, when we approach someone with well-supported boundaries, whether they’re going to say yes or say no.

So what does it mean, to close the vast majority of roads to your island? Are you now an isolationist, dissolving all external relationships? No. And similarly, dissolving cords does NOT equate to dissolution of a relationship. It simply means that you’re changing the dynamics of the relationship. Here’s what happens.

As an island, you come out and say, “Enough is enough! Any road not approved by me is closed! Anyone coming onto my island needs permission; anyone taking anything off my island needs consent! However; I agree, we need to trade. I have things I would like to share, and I will need help sometimes. So we will come to some mutual beneficial agreements, agreements that can be changed when deemed necessary, at any time, by either party.” Now – there’s still trade, there’s still exchange. But it must be agreed upon. And it must be constantly willing to adapt and evolve as both the island and the outer world grow.

In the real world-human version, when you close the roads (cut the energetic cords), some people will get upset. They will resent having to now negotiate for things they once took for free and without consent. The relationship may get rocky for a bit as a new dynamic establishes. Most people will adapt to the new dynamic, however, eventually thriving in the now consensual, conscious act of giving and asking, because it is within this dynamic that we best thrive as humans. It gives us room to grow into who we need to be without a lot of extra bindings and expectations. This is the system in which we can listen to our own inner guidance, take stock of what we have to give and what we need to ask for help with (without shame!). It gives us space to move and grow and be a highest self. Unfortunately, for some that idea is very scary, especially for the people that do a lot more taking than giving. They envision “lack” and “scarcity,” and in the human mind, this triggers survival mechanisms. Again, sometimes many of these people can grow and adapt out of that pattern, with gentle coaxing and patience, if the other person still has some to give and is willing to do so. Sometimes, however, a partner is so seduced and attached to the action of TAKING, with which they equate with a feeling of power, that they will create conflict and aggression in an attempt to regain control (power) and reform the attachment (energetic cord). They have little interest in waiting for a consensual, freely-given gift. If they can’t take what they want, when they want, thereby generating power, they’ll eventually leave. “Givers” too may struggle; their sense of be worthy of love and attention is often attached to what they are able to give or provide others, often with little in return. This can lead them to fear that they are suddenly going to find themselves alone and unloved if they put boundaries in place. Or, they may simple have already given so much that no reserves are left to meet the continued, though lower, commitment required of them.

To give you a few more examples of what this energetic cording looks like:

… Imagine the space behind your television! All those cords, going who knows where, tangled and dusty. There is a limit to how far they can reach, there’s a limit to how many things can be plugged in. They draw power even when they don’t need it and if too many things get plugged in, the breaker trips. Frayed cords cause fires, as do overwhelmed circuits. If someone walks behind there and trips, everything topples over! Electrical cords are limiting, inefficient, and messy. Compare this to the idea of free-energy proposed by Nikolas Tesla! It’s cord-free, mess-free, pollution-free; there’s an abundance and everyone can get what they need without overwhelming or taking from someone else.

… Imagine if you believed that in order to breathe, you must be attached to someone else. You’re both wearing oxygen masks connected to one another by a hose, but there’s no tank. You’re both slowly suffocating because you’re not sharing life-supporting, nourishing oxygen; you’re breathing each other’s waste product, carbon dioxide. And as you start to suffocate, you blame the other person. You think that surely they are doing something to hoard the oxygen on their end, perhaps by crimping the hose, or pulling on the hose too hard. In your need, you can’t see that they’re struggling to breathe too. The reality is, neither of you need the masks; the most nourishing air available is that which is all around us!

So when we rely on energetic cording to maintain our sense of wellbeing, particularly when utilized in relationship with another person, a lot of things can go awry. Cords get tangled, knotted, twisted, kinked, or frayed. They also get polluted, with resentment, un-met expectations, fears, and more. They might be too short, or too long; an ill-fit. They might get caught up in cords with another, third person. In fact, cords are a lower vibrational, and very inefficient, way to exist in relationship. This is where energetic hygiene comes into play.

Just like you can’t wash your hands once in a lifetime, or decade, or year, or month and expect them to stay clean, nor can you treat your energetic hygiene as a pastime amusement while still expecting your relationships to function in their highest potential. Energetic hygiene must take place regularly. Daily, if possible, and as needed for particular situations.

There are a few ways to cleanse your energetic system. I’ll talk about some methods to cleanse your overall energy field, then cords more specifically.

1. Showering: Water is an amazing way to cleanse your overall energetic system. Just standing under running water and imagining it washing away the “gunk” that has accumulated in your energy field (visualized as an egg around your body), will do much to wash away unwanted energies. Watch as the dirty water runs down and through the egg of energy surrounding your body, carrying all dirt and filth with it, down your body, past your feet, into the drain, and eventually deep in the Earth. (While our modern plumbing doesn’t immediately or directly go into the Earth, the water it carries forth will eventually be returned to the Earth. In the meantime, your visualization will allow the polluted, unwanted energies to detach and settle out from the water and into the Earth, where they can be transmuted and transformed (“composted”).

2. Soaking: Baths with Epsom salt, sea salt and other optional components (Florida water, citrus juice like lemon, a sprig of pine or cedar, etc.) can also remove unwanted energies. This is often a step up from the shower above. Think heavier, “stuck-on” energies. Just like you might have to soak a pot that has stubborn, stuck-on food, so too are baths/soaks sometimes necessary. Be sure to submerge every part of your body a few times, including your head. When you finish, take a large cup, pitcher, or pot and pour the water over your body as it runs down the drain. (Optional – You can shower first to remove less adhesive energies, then bathe.)

3. (Re-) Setting your grounding and cosmic cords: Can be done anywhere, but in my opinion, best done outside standing barefoot on the ground under the open sky. Close your eyes and visualize the following:

– Starting at the center of your chest (your heart chakra), send a cord DOWN through your body. (This cord can be anything sturdy and strong: a cable, a strong rope, etc.)
– See this cord extending from your heart, down through your belly, pelvis, splitting (but still very, very strong) down each leg, and out the bottoms of both feet.
– From the bottoms of the feet, the cord enters the ground where it reforms back into one, extra-strong cord.*
– This cord travels down deep into the ground; past soil, roots, grubs, rocks. Send it through all the layers of the Earth. It will travel easily through thick sheets of rock, through underwater aquifers of water, through molten lava, all with ease. It travels until it reaches the center of the Earth, where it attaches to the core like a very strong magnet. Once your cord gets close, you’ll feel the effortless connection, and you’ll feel your body pulled firmly against the Earth.
– See “Earth” energy move effortlessly and quickly back up the cord into your body. For me, this energy appears as a thick, yet flowing (mercury-like) silvery-blue water. See, feel, sense, or imagine this energy flowing back up through all the layers of the Earth, up into the soles of your feet, filling every cell, every void/empty space. From there it fills completely your toes, feet, up your legs, into your pelvis and belly, into your chest concentrating into your heart, up into your shoulders, then traveling down each arm to fill fingers, hands, elbows, etc. Once your arms are completely full, the energy will again flow through your shoulders, up into your neck, mouth, nose, and head cavities. Once your body is full, this energy begins to spill out of your ears, nose, mouth, and eyes, and then fills your egg-shaped energetic space around your body. Watch as that egg fills completely.
– Here you can communicate with, witness, etc. any of the earthly energies and/or beings as your beliefs permit. These might include Mother Earth, Gaia, The Green Man, Animal Guides, Nature Beings such as rock spirits, plant spirits, fairies, nature sprites, etc.
(*Some choose to send the cord out of the root chakra, between the legs, and down into the Earth. In this visualization, the cord never “splits” or rejoins. I prefer grounding through the legs/feet, but either method works. A great compromise is an extra wide cord that is able to emerge from the root chakra (located at the perineum), and encompass both legs and feet as it travels down into the Earth.)

– Starting at the center of your chest (your heart chakra), send a cord UP through your body. (This cord can be anything sturdy and strong: a cable, a strong rope, etc. It doesn’t have to be exactly the same as the cord used above for the grounding cord.)
– See this cord extending from your heart, up through your upper chest, neck, head, and out the top of your head (your crown chakra).
– From the top of the head, the cord travels up into the sky; past trees, birds, clouds, perhaps even through weather. Send it through all the layers of the atmosphere and out into space. From here, set the intention that the cord will travel and connect to “Source.” I often visualize my cord shooting through the inner solar system and into the sun, and using the sun as a portal, emerging at “source.” You can allow your cord to travel as it feels right to you, just be sure to set a strong intention that its destination is Source.
– See “Source” energy move effortlessly and quickly back down the cord into your body. For me, this energy appears as a sparkly, fiery energy, like a shower of sparks. See, feel, sense, or imagine this energy flowing back through space and all the layers of the Earth’s atmosphere, dropping down into the top of your head. From here, it sinks or drops down into the soles of your feet, filling every cell, every void/empty space. From there it travels upwards, filling completely your toes, feet, up your legs, into your pelvis and belly, into your chest concentrating into your heart, up into your shoulders, then traveling down each arm to fill fingers, hands, elbows, etc. Once your arms are completely full, the energy will again flow through your shoulders, up into your neck, mouth, nose, and head cavities. Once your body is full, this energy begins to spill out of your ears, nose, mouth, and eyes, and then fills your egg-shaped energetic space around your body. Watch as that egg fills completely.
– Here you can communicate with, witness, etc. and of the divine, heavenly energies and/or beings as your beliefs permit. These might include God/dess, Angels, Ascended Masters, Star Beings, and more.

After (re)setting your earthly and cosmic cords, and (re)filling your energetic body with those two powerful energies, it’s important to now harmonize or balance them. Bring your attention to your heart chakra (chest center) and see both energies moving through that space. For me, I see the flowing, silvery-blue liquid of the Earth, and the orange fiery, glittering energy of source. Set the intention or ask Spirit to assist in the harmonization and balance of these energies. I often see a yin/yang type interaction where one begins to flow into the other. You might envision that they remain separate yet moving in harmony with one another, or you can see them as blending into a new color. Once you feel that they are balanced, set the intention that this same process will happen in each cell of your body as well as in your outer egg-shaped energetic body. Remember, harmony and balance do not always equate to 50/50. Depending on life circumstances, one may be slightly stronger than the other.

4. Clearing cords: Some weaker cords will naturally clear out with the processes above. To help that along, you can add a step when you set the intention / ask for assistance from your guides that the cords be completely detached, cleared, and washed away with any other unwanted energy. For larger cords – whether because they’ve existed a long time, or because the relationship is an important/influential one, you may have to set an intention that is more specific/directed and you may have to repeat this the clearing process multiple times.

To clear a particular cord; see, feel, sense, or imagine where a particular cord resides. This cord may be to another person, an idea, an illness, a thought-form, or other. Examine the cord, attempting to maintain neutrality and a state of non-judgement. What do you see, feel, sense, (or imagine) it looks like? What is it made of? Color? Texture? Thickness? Condition (smooth, strong, or frayed, damaged)? You can talk to or communicate with it, if you desire or feel compelled to, as sometimes they carry information or messages.

Whenever you have finished with your neutral examination, consider offering love and/or sending gratitude to the cord (and whatever exists at the other end of it.) Even in the most horrific, difficult situations or relationships, we are gifted with profound opportunities to learn and heal, and it is for these opportunities that we are grateful. Now, visualize an energetic aura or egg that surrounds both you and whatever exists on the other side of the cord. (Remember, that other participant can be a variety of things; another person, a belief, a trauma, a place, etc.) This egg of energy surrounds both of you and represents the intersection of you and the other participant. From here on, we’ll refer to the energy egg or aura as the “Relationship.” Relationships that are fueled mostly or only by cording between the participants are parasitic in nature. To exist, energy must be drawn or siphoned off one or both participants. To repair this, it is best to set separate grounding and cosmic cords for the Relationship itself. This allows the Relationship to become symbiotic in nature, rather than parasitic; now we have “life working together.” Setting these cords puts the relationship more fully in line with cosmic intention and process. This means that the Relationship is working in alignment with both participants and is able to respond accordingly to the needs, wants, and desires that are mutually beneficial. Furthermore, the Relationship can now tap in to source energy, clear itself energetically by sending waste down the grounding cord, as well as dissolve itself when and if the time comes. This process typically needs only be done once with occasional maintenance.

Once you see the energy egg clearly, and have set with intention and/or visualization the grounding and cosmic cords, you should now infuse the egg with loving energy. This is not (only) romantic love, but the unconditional love that is free of resentment, guilt, shame, hurt, anger, expectations, fear, etc. This is the love that sees both you and other participant with compassion and respect as a divine soul housed in an imperfect human body, having a sometimes challenging human experience (this is the reason for the grounding cord; to help release our more Earthly/human emotions so that we can see from a higher viewpoint). I typically see unconditional love as a Rose-Gold colored energy, but any color, texture, sound, etc. that feels appropriate and good can be used for you to visualize the energy (this will also help you to visualize if the energy is “off” or has changed). Remember that you are also encompassed in this energy yourself, so be sure you’re calling in only the highest quality, most loving energy possible for the Relationship. If you wish, you can visualize asking the other participant to also infuse the Relationship with energy, but it is not necessary to do so. Once this Relationship entity has been appropriately corded to Source and the Earth, and infused with unconditional love, you will be ready to dissolve the cord.

Set the intention or ask for assistance from spirit (I often use Angels, particularly Archangel Michael and or Raphael), to release the cord, severing it completely. Be sure there are no remnants left behind, such as connections that can manifest as hooks, anchors, etc. You might visualize this being accomplished with a sharp cutting implement cutting through the cord, such as a knife, a sword, a pair of scissors, an axe, etc., or you can use light or other energies to explode the cord into millions of fragments. With either method, see the cord (or bits) falling to the Earth where they turn black and decay into dust, composting completely and merging harmlessly back in the Earth before your very eyes.

Once the cord has released and decayed, turn your attention back to the area where it once was. Ask that area to heal (or invoke Spirit to assist; I often call on Archangel Raphael, but there are many.) You might also ask that it not allow the cord to reform there (however, you must be aware that particularly strong cords will tend to reform and must sometimes be cleared multiple times before they are gone for good. If you set this intention, be aware that the cord may now reform somewhere else and you’ll have to seek it out deliberately.) It is helpful to also clearly state: “I have permanently released this energetic cord to [person, place, belief, thought-form, illness, etc.]. I have hereby reclaimed my power and energy, and have released and returned anything that does not belong to me.” At this time, you may also wish to thank Spirit for assistance, as well as yourself, and your body, for being courageous and willing to release and heal.

Cording can be a complex process to understand and to heal. We have a tendency to be attached to our cords just as we can be unhealthily attached to other things which do not serve us, whether it’s a habit, a belief, or too many material possessions. Unfortunately, anything we remain attached to requires from us an investment of energy in order to feed it. Over time, too many attachments leave us with too many energetic commitments and not enough energetic reserve for ourselves. Remember too that releasing attachments (in this case cording) does NOT mean you’re severing a relationship. While we might spring clean and declutter a house in order to list it for sale, undertaking a spring cleaning process does not in itself imply or commit us to selling our house! This process of cleaning/clearing just makes it easier for us to see. For example, perhaps you thought your house was too small, but upon clearing out unnecessary belongings, you find it’s in fact a perfect fit! Another example is that your partner’s abundant belongs might annoy you, because they’ve overflowed into your personal space inside your shared house. The fact that those things annoy you, and that you might set firm boundaries that they be cleared out of your space immediately, in no way detracts from your love of your partner, provided that a boundary is set early, firmly, and with love. Conversely, an intrusive situation allowed to go on for too long could very well cause resentments that would build and potentially blossom into other areas, including your willingness and desire to be with that person.

Finally, is there ever a situation in which cording is a good idea? I can think of two. One – mothers are often corded very strongly to their children. This is physically manifested during the in-utero time via the umbilical cord. But just like the umbilical cord that must be cut shortly after birth, so too must the energetic cords. At what age depends, I would say, primarily on the child, but I would say that generally by age 7 is usually appropriate. By this age, children have usually developed a significant degree of independence in that they can usually communicate some level of abstract ideas clearly, including if something doesn’t feel right or hurts, they are fully mobile and dexterous, they can find basic food when they are hungry, and take care of basic hygiene. This level of independence means Mom no longer needs to be as intimately connected to her child to sense these things that are directly tied to the child’s survival. Some children can do very well with the cords cut earlier, and this might be indicated by a child who is insistent on more freedom to make choices or be independent. This insistence doesn’t mean giving the child free-reign into possibly dangerous arenas; sometimes this insistence is simply the child’s intuitive sensing of a cord that has become too hindering and restraining, whether that’s because the cord is too short, too broad, etc. Sometimes cutting or just loosening the cord via the exercise above can do much to alleviate the child’s sense of being too constrained and might buy both the child and parent some much needed maturation time before the reins are loosened in the outside world. (There are also many ways to increase freedoms in safe ways in the outer world, but those are beyond the scope of this discussion.) Conversely, some children do better with cording remaining a bit longer. Frequent expressed needs for snuggling, reassurance, co-sleeping, or other requests for more nurturing can be signs that a child needs the cord to be reenforced, perhaps only temporarily, but until a feeling of stability and safety can be established. This might occur in older children particularly if there’s been some type of trauma. Also, recognize that these requests should be met, as possible, in the outer world as well. Children that are well nurtured while being taught simultaneously about proper boundaries, as well as energetic technique such as those above, do NOT yield entitled, unreasonable “brats” as our culture often teaches us. Children that have their needs met, particularly the need for emotional nurturing, enter the world as “completely formed” adults. Those that do not have their needs met adequately will enter the world still as emotional children continuing to seek, perhaps outright demand, that nourishment from the world around them.

The second situation would be in immediate, life and death situations. Someone that is strongly grounded and energetically clear might offer a TEMPORARY life-support cord to a person in immediate danger. This is a very special and rare circumstance that I don’t generally recommend, as it requires a great deal of discernment, personal strength, and a robust energetic system. These cords have very specific timing for when they should be released, and for that reason, it is my own opinion that only very advanced people should attempt this approach. The downside to doing this incorrectly or in inappropriate circumstances could be further harm to the other person, but also an extensive depletion, if not outright damage, to one’s own energetic body. I’m sharing here purely in a technical sense, and not at all as a recommendation for anyone to attempt this type of cording. In fact, it is my belief that if it is someone’s time to go, no amount of cording to another human being will stop that process from happening, so in reality, it really becomes a moot point.

Doing daily basic energetic clearings (conscious showering and/or bathing) and frequent cord clearing can do much to help preserve a personal sense of well being, stability, focus and productivity, and overall general health. These energetic hygiene routines are also a key component in healing illness and traumas. This improvement in our personal energy system then reflects in our many and varied outer relationships, promoting interactions that are more loving, fulfilling, and nurturing.